The NFL playoffs start Saturday and the Detroit Lions are still alive for the first time in twelve years. It’s been two decades since the last time they won a playoff game. In my nostalgic web-surfing on topics related to that 1991-1992 team, I can’t help but miss those uniforms (pictured here on Erik Kramer).
I love sports uniforms. My friends know that I can’t resist commenting on the aesthetics of a game we’re watching (sometimes to the point of annoyance, I’m sure). My opinions are very often heavily influenced by the existence of an alternative that a team either recently abandoned or uses just periodically as a throwback (e.g., the Denver Broncos’ orange home uniforms from the Elway era). In general, I prefer simple, classic styles to drop shadows and gradients. You’ll pick up on that as we go.
So in honor of those Lions, I bring you my rankings of the NFL teams by uniform design from first to 32nd. Please share your opinions in the comments section below.
-
The beauty and simplicity of the Raiders’ silver and black are unparalleled.
-
I live in Chicago, but I’m a Lions fan. I used to root for the Bears when the Lions were terrible, but their ranking has little to do with that. I love their colors and they are one of just two teams with alternative number fonts that I actually like.
-
The other team with a great unconventional number font on its uniforms is the Houston Texans. As long as they’re not going red-on-red, which they do a couple of times a season, this team looks great.
-
Just a couple of seasons ago, the 49ers treated NFL fans to uniform redesign, inspired by the Montana era. Excellent decision.
-
The Packers are a symbol of NFL history. It’s appropriate that they’ve basically worn the same uniform since before Lombardi. I’m linking to a photo of the road whites for a reason–I like them better than the home greens. Note: if it were up to me, I’d abandon the metallic helmet shell that the team recently adopted.
-
Having battled the Packers in the first Super Bowl, the Chiefs are also representative of the NFL’s rich history–not to mention the AFL. Were it not for a few crucial decisions in the recent past, the Chiefs would have found themselves further down this list. The first was the resurrection of the red pants on the road. The second was the Lamar Hunt memorial patch. I love them both.
-
The Saints always look good. At home, on the road, and and in their throwbacks. Classy team. Classy uniforms. I just hope they’re gentle on the Lions tonight.
-
The Browns are about as basic, simple, and classic as you can get. The color scheme is unique and I love the sleeve stripes. I appreciate that they’ve avoided the temptation to change.
-
The Redskins bother me because their nickname is so overtly racist. On the other hand, I love their uniforms. I’m glad they began wearing gold pants occasionally a few seasons ago too.
-
Much has been made of the inconsistencies in the Cowboys’ uniforms. The blue on the helmet doesn’t match the blue in the jerseys, the template for the road jerseys doesn’t match the home, etc. I’m OK with it. I think it’s an interesting idiosyncrasy. I don’t like the blue jerseys, but they wear them pretty rarely.
-
I really like the Seahawks. I like the colors. I like the fact that they stuck with the same basic logo design with which they entered the league. I like the fluorescent green accent. I also like the uniforms they used to wear.
-
The Buccaneers’ uniforms a decent. I appreciate the audacity it took in the late nineties to become the first team to use pewter in its color scheme. They also hold a special place in my heart because my high school football team used their helmet logo in our school’s colors (navy and carolina blue). The Buccaneers, however, are the first team on our list penalized for their failure to adopt a gorgeous alternative as their main uniform: the creamsicles. The Bucs’ creamsicle uniforms were one of my first loves as a kid obsessed with the aesthetics of sports. Fortunately, in recent years, they’ve begun wearing them occasionally as throwback alternates.
-
The Giants’ uniforms are simple and nice. I like the fact that the home uniforms and road uniforms look like they belong to two different teams.
-
I was appalled when the Bengals made the switch from these, but they’ve grown on me. These are probably the most modern-looking uniforms I’ll ever compliment.
-
I like the Rams, particularly when they don’t wear their gold pants. But the Rams are another team that abandoned great uniforms for a lesser alternative. Like many others guilty of doing so, they wear them as throwbacks.
-
The Colts used to rank among my favorites. The basic design hasn’t really changed, but new fabrics have (probably unintentionally) changed the way some of the players’ uniforms fit and it really ruins the look. The shoulder stripes, which have undergone a process of truncation since the days of Unitas, have been shortened to the point of absurdity.
-
Yet another team to abandon its excellent uniforms for mediocrity. If I were in charge, the team would get rid of that almost-acceptable number font, ditch the drop shadow, and begin wearing the early-Marino-era uniforms immediately. Oh yeah, they’d never wear orange jerseys again.
-
The Bills made a gigantic improvement this season. Last season’s uniforms were worthy of last place. I would have ranked them closer to the top were it not for the strange widening of the helmet stripe in the back.
-
I love the Ravens’ helmet logo, but I don’t care for the truncated helmet stripes. The number font kills me too. I’d rank it worst in the league, just barely worse than the Eagles.
-
The Falcons have fantastic throwbacks and I would advocate them wearing those every week. The regular uniforms are ok. I don’t like that the logo looks like a mechanical falcon though. Is that supposed to make them scary?
-
The Lions ruined my favorite uniforms in the NFL when Matt Millen decided that they should include black in the color scheme. Then they decided that their numbers needed to look like a cat scratched the players. I don’t get it. I’m penalizing them too much, probably. If they’re going to include black in the color scheme, I really like the sleeve stripes. I’m just jaded by the departure from the Sanders-era look.
-
Every time I catch a Panthers game, I find myself thinking that I like their uniforms more than I thought I did. The problem with the Panthers is the truncated stripe on their helmets. I get it, it’s supposed to be from a panther’s claw or something, but it started the trend of weird helmet striping that has taken football by storm at all levels. I hate the trend and I hope it ends.
-
I’m on the fence about the Cardinals. I like their helmets a lot, but their jerseys are simultaneously boring and futuristic. I liked them much better when they were simple and boring.
-
The Chargers unveiled their current set after years of fans longing for the permanent return of the powder blue. The execution was decent. If only they would have chosen a basic number font, these might be much better.
-
The Steelers are a tough team. My unscientific research suggests they have more fans from outside their hometown than any other team. This is probably because I’m from a working-class region and the Steelers franchise represents working-class toughness. So that’s the problem. The Steelers’ number font does not represent toughness. It’s weak. They had it right at one point, but they made a change.
-
Kind of boring. I’d like them A LOT more if they used this logo on the helmets, even though it looks a little bit like a dolphin.
-
My family moved to Boulder, Colorado in 1996 and my dad, brother Mike, uncle Wayne, and I had Broncos season tickets. We fell in love with the team. It was the last season they wore my favorite uniforms in NFL history. That’s probably the only uniform preference I have that is influenced by the team itself. Anyway, the Broncos unveiled the current uniforms the following offseason and then won the next two Super Bowls. I never liked the new designs and stopped liking the Broncos when John Elway retired.
-
The Patriots actually have some pretty decent uniforms. If they switched to a basic number font, they’d probably be near the top for me. I’m ranking them all the way down here though as punishment for failure to use the fantastic Pat Patriot helmets and jerseys that go with them. If they were to wear those in every game, they’d be number one on this list by a mile.
-
Teal, iridescent helmet, piping? No thanks.
-
A lot of people put the Eagles near the top of lists like this. Not me. I hate these things. I was appalled the day they were unveiled and I haven’t changed my mind. They have a rich uniform history to draw from too. It’s a shame.
-
When the Oilers became the Titans, I remember liking these uniforms. Now I really don’t care for them, but I don’t have much else to say about them.
-
The Vikings ended up in last place after being assessed a very stiff penalty for crimes against uniforms. At some point in the 1990s, the Vikings switched from these to these, and nobody noticed. The differences are subtle, but basically, they removed the sleeve stripes for a viking’s head logo. This was a downgrade in my opinion, but it was forgivable. About a decade later, they stepped it down a few thousand notches when they unveiled their current set. The purple got lighter, there was piping everywhere, underarm gussets, and bells and whistles all over the place. Gross. Maybe the most unfortunate consequence of the change was that we lost–maybe forever–one of the best road jerseys in the NFL. Fortunately, there’s somebody with some style in the front office, so we get to see their home throwbacks a couple times each year. They always look great in those.





